The Baby or the Tiger

Don and I took the kids to The San Diego Wild Animal Park over Christmas vacation. As part of a special tour with two other families, we were allowed to go with a guide "behind the scenes" of the lion enclosure. What this really means is you get to go see the office where they take notes and look through glass at a concrete cage where they keep the lions when they are "off set." We were all very excited when the tour guide looked in the room and said, "Oh! Good news, there is a tiger in here!" I was the first one to enter the room, and I looked through the first glass window where I was suddenly nose to nose with a Bengal tiger maybe twelve inches from my face. Self preservation being everything in this world, and thankfully instinctive, I jumped back and kept moving. It was incredibly humbling to be that close to a tiger, and she and I both understood that if the glass hadn't been there I would have been tiger lunch. Don and I took the girls down the hallway (me moving quickly) to the second window to make room for the other people. The guide had mentioned that the tiger is usually very interested in the little kids, so I found it fascinating when the tiger saw Addie in Don's arms. Then the tiger looked away for about thirty seconds, and I thought she had completely forgotten about Addie. Turns out La Tigre was totally messing with us. Before you could say Siegfried and Roy, the tiger lept sideways, jumping into the air and traveling the entire eight feet to the window to pound on the glass in front of Addie. No glass, no baby. Addie was very brave and tried not to cry, but she completely understood: tiger vs. man with glass, man wins; tiger vs. man, no glass, it's the tiger every time. Top of the food chain. No question. Don't even try. Adios. See you in the next life. Well, you get the idea. It was so scary watching the tiger try to eat my child, yet one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. I mean, I'm super happy Addie didn't get eaten and all, but the tiger was way cool.

Speaking of tigers... what is all this bruhaha about the Chinese Tiger Mom? If you haven't heard about the new book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom, written by Amy Chua, it details the Chinese Mom method of parenting. Such as:

No sleepovers.

No plays or drama class.

Many hours practicing musical instruments whether you want to play them or not.

Nothing below an A is even the least bit acceptable.

People, and by people I mean American people, are really upset about this and my guess is they are feeling a bit criticized, which is making them defensive, which is making some of them behave stupidly and overreact. While I agree it is a tad extreme, it's not all a bad idea. It has made me realize that Don and I don't require enough of our children and are way too easy on them. We have let them quit activities way too soon. Ms. Chua asserts that things such as playing the piano become more fun as you become more proficient. I can actually attest to this. The first twenty years of ballet are the hardest! Don and I have always joked that our poor Chinese kid was going to be raised by American parents and lower the standard for Asian children in America. Happily, she is proving us wrong even with our lax American parenting. If I am being completely honest I have to admit the reason I can't be a Tiger Mom is because I am way too lazy and selfish. For instance:

Musical instruments being practiced for four hours?

Who wants to listen to that?

No theater?

Pulease!!

No sleepovers?

When would Don and I have sex?

Anything below an A?

I would have to help with homework and quiz for tests. No thank you. Uh uh. Adios. Not in this lifetime. Well, you get the idea.

So, I thought about changing, but instead decided the best thing to do is hire a Chinese Tiger Mom to raise my children. That way, everyone is happy. Except probably my children. But as a good Tiger Mom would say, "Who cares about that?"

DeAnne at the Lapin Agile

Don gave me a book of Steve Martin's plays for Christmas. On the plane to Vegas today (later) I read Picasso at The Lapin Agile. I saw the play in New York and I read it before and I truly love this play. It is funny and smart and sometimes I don't understand what they are talking about and it doesn't matter. It makes you want to do something good, something important. The play is about one night in 1904 when Picasso, Einstein, and a Visitor (Elvis), meet at the bar Lapin Agile in Paris. Three great minds of the Twentieth Century who changed art, music, and our understanding of the universe.

Picasso: My name is Picasso. Are you an artist?

Visitor: I had my moment.

Picasso: What kind of moment.

Visitor: I had my moment of .... perfection.

Picasso: I know the feeling. I just had it over there.

Visitor: It's a good feeling.

Picasso: Yes, it is.

Visitor: I think not many people have it.

Picasso: No, no they don't.

After reading this I put the book down in my lap, closed my eyes and thought about my one moment. An instant that was well..... perfect. I was playing Louise Bigelow in Carousel. For my non theater friends Louise is mainly a dancing role and the first time we see Louise is in the Ballet. I entered the stage in the dark and the lights came up. I raised my arms above my head in complete silence. The conductor was to take his cue to start the orchestra when I lowered my arms and began to dance. Our eyes were locked. My arms were raised and his arms were raised, then in perfect synchronicity we lowered our arms, me beginning the dance, him beginning the music that carried me away. It was a brief moment, a breath, inhale arms up, exhale arms down, but I knew I had just experienced something rare and elusive. It was as if time had stopped and I entered a different reality that was huge and expansive and beyond my comprehension. Where everything begins. Where anything is possible.

I was nineteen.

I am positive we did other performances , but I don't remember any of them and it didn't happen again. I have performed in hundreds of shows since then and never once experienced such bliss. That is o.k. I was smart enough not to chase it. I knew I was lucky enough to have that feeling of perfection even once in a lifetime and it was enough.

I am not a genius by any stretch of the imagination. I don't even know if I was any great artist as a dancer. My moment of perfection will not hang on someones wall or come through your IPod and break your heart. My moment is just mine. It lives inside of me and I cherish it. I can recall the moment with perfect clarity anytime and I will never take for granted that for one short instant I danced with God.